The Measure of a Man

Have you ever noticed that there are just a few key areas that a man must have some proficiency in to be considered manly. He doesn't have to be good at all of them, but he better be pretty good or knowledgeable about at at least one of them to keep his man card. I like to break those areas of interest down as follows: sports (this does not include soccer because that is not a sport it is like an acting class for Europeans and South Americans or NASCAR because that falls under another manly area other than sports I believe), hunting and camping, cars, needless but must have technological gizmos, and tools and construction. If you are a man and you do not have some level of proficiency or at least a high level of interest in one or more of these areas, you are probably much to close to your mother and like a nice Pinot Grigio, not that there is anything wrong with that.(actually there is, but I wanted to be PC) I am well covered as a huge sports guy and my love for needless technological gizmos that I don't need and usually end up not fully using, just so you know. With my manhood firmly secure in my own mind, I find myself very aware of those men who don't fit neatly into my perception of what a man is. I hear a guy telling me how much he loves soccer and I think what did your parents do to you to turn you into this and wondering if he likes cross dressing or just feels compelled to do it? Here's the problem, my perspective on what makes a man is highly dysfunctional and does a disservice to the broad scope and beauty of what men can be and are. It has the ability if I allow it to rob me of great friendships and tremendous opportunities, all because of a flawed and limited understanding on my part.
I was thinking about this today as I listened to a "good" Christian man talk about the "compromise" in the life of another believer and how one day this man would stand before God and would be surprised hear God say "Depart, because I never knew you." I refrained from punching this particular "good" Christian only because I know how easy to fall into the same trap of self-righteousness. As much as it saddens and enrages me to see so many try to narrow the scope of God's grace, it frightens me that we are limiting the grace in our own lives as we do this. I am reminded of Matthew 7:2 which says, "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you." By narrowing the grace of God's in our minds and perspectives, we restrict the wideness of grace available to us. Why would we wish judgment on any one or find satisfaction in the struggles of another person, believer or not? It says alot about us that we want to make it more difficult for people to find and live for God. Rather than helping lighten their load by showing grace we add to it with our own traditions and accompanying self-righteous ideas and the danger of that is that these become the standards we will be judged by. Jesus was known as a friend of sinners while so many believers believe that it is our duty to avoid sinners as much as possible. It is not just non-believers who are lost it seems.
As partakers of God's grace, we have a responsibility to confront the self-righteous and low grace attitudes that have pervaded so many of our churches, to let God's grace be fully what it is and to recognize that only God gets to be God.
I will let Charles Swindoll say it much better than I ever could, "The problem with legalists is that not enough people have confronted them and told them to get lost. Those are strong words, but I don't mess with legalism anymore. I'm 72 years old; what have I got to lose? Seriously, I used to kowtow to legalists, but they're dangerous. They are grace-killers. They'll drive off every new Christian you bring to church. They are enemies of the faith. Other than that, I don't have any opinion! So, if I am trying to force my personal list of no-no's on you and make you feel guilty if you don't join me, then I'm out of line and I need to be told that." Grace to you through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Rated R for Adult Language

When was the last time you allowed your anger to just overwhelm you and in that moment of being overwhelmed you did things that you would not normally do? For me, it was Thursday. I was talking to Susan about the people who are currently renting our house and who we have already had to take to court once because they refuse to pay their rent on time or at all as now the case seems to be. Not only that, this woman lies and bounces checks to us for thousands of dollars creating real difficulty even though we have tried to work with them and help them in every way possible. We go to court and the judge says, well you should just be grateful to have renters in this economy and I'm thinking, you're an idiot, how is having renters who don't pay any better than not having renters?(More proof that graduating from Law School is not too difficult) I would rather have no one in my house than to collect no rent and having to go through all these hassles and this frustration. So I'm talking to Susan about this on Thursday and I'm getting so angry that I find myself threatening to drive to Panama City this weekend and grab this woman by her throat and throw her and her kids out on their butts (gotta admit I didn't say butts) and unleash biblical vengeance on them. Then I hung up and I replayed the moment in my mind and I realized how ugly I had allowed myself to become in it. Not only was I seriously thinking about inflicting bodily harm on a woman and two kids, I was using some language that I don't ever use because of just the ignorance it portrays. If you are a curser, you just sound stupid when you do it, trust me. Why would I allow myself to regress into that type of behavior over anything? The answer for me, a lack of faith. If I really believed that God was working all things for my good, then I would trust Him with this. In that moment I didn't.
I fell back into default mode, which for me is wanting to handle everything myself. The problem with that is that it has never worked. It is that stubborn desire that has created most of the pain and regret in my life and yet I am still so quick to revert back to it. Thank God that He allows us moments of clarity and reflection to realize how ugly we can be left to our own devices and that He is faithful to forgive and to help us learn and grow from each mistake. If we want to carry the full burden of our own lives, He will certainly let us but the weight is more than we can bare and the strain of it robs us of the beauty of who we are. I hope this week in those moments where you are challenged beyond what you think you can handle, that you will allow God to carry that weight and not allow it to rob you of who you are.

“Difficulties show men what they are. In case of any difficulty remember that God has pitted you against a rough antagonist that you may be a conqueror, and this cannot be without toil.” - Epicetus